The Pedestrian

I am a pedestrian now,
I belong to the busses, calafias and taxis,
to the sidewalks and crossing sings.

Robert Lang: Idea + square = origami

It's a nice lecture about the many uses of origami and it's art and how it can go from piece of paper into art and then into everyday technology.

The Morning Calafia

I hope that it doesn't take me forever to fix the car, but in the meantime the only thing I am enjoying are the morning rides in the calafia to Otay, I almost always see the same people getting on it everyday, I like it because it offers me communal ritual, everybody has to go to work, and it just happens some of us share destinations (at a certain point). I'm even name some of the more eye-catching characters, like the "hot chubby girl", or "los pelones" a group of 3 guys about 18 to 24 that have shaved their heads (not like skinheads, more like you cut it on razor 1 on the machine), one of them is cute and the only one still going daily on the calafia. A "nasty guy" I've watch him and I don't trust him, he gives me the creeps. There is the "corner don" because he take the bus in the same corner I do, we have engaged in small talk.

Another reason for me to like it a lot is because I go high as a kite every morning that's possible and I have my head phones on, so I take a ride, literally, the combination between them is astronomically favorable,
1. I get on time to work.
2. The chance to get high and analize my surroundings, my emotions, the people, the funny things that happen along the way, things I have on my mind at the time.
3. Listen to music and evade everything else, plus the imagery that I get while listening to certain songs is wonderfull and I would really like to explore it more.
4. Get to have breakfast.

And here are some funny things in a calafia, if you talk and read spanish or if you are from Tijuana you will get it, for those of you who don't, well I'll translate.

"No! Smoke!"

"No! Throw trash!"

Working days are here again...

This is me on my first day to work...



Since then many things have happened, one of them being the recent aparition of a small lump in the back of my right hand.





Don't know how it happened, I just saw it one day in the calafia, went to the physician of the company I work in and he said it was nothing to get concerned for and if I don't touch it or bother it won't grow. Also consulted my ex-stepfather about it (also a doctor) and he said it was a hernia, and also if it doesn't grow and it doesn't bother me there's no problem. The thing is that it does bother me, I feel it stiff, and it goes numb from the wrist to my elbow, I feel as if it's pressing some nerves maybe, and yes I am a bit worried about it, but I'm going to see someone about it.

This is one of the recent photos that I've taken of me at work, coincidentally is the same day that I had the anxiety attack.

Pro Marijuana Advertisement

Nice! Think about it.

The waitress

Well, I have been employed now for 2 months, and everything has been nice and dandy, you know getting a steady paycheck every week, it has had it's up and downs... Well I've had my ups and downs, including a car crash, my car, my crash, extraordinarily the car that I crashed into that morning came out of it with nothing, maybe a little ding in the fender, by my car... here



and that was about 3 or 4 weeks ago...

Now, with in the past few weeks: Since I don't have a car anymore, that is until I get enough money to get it fixed right and proper, I have to take Public Transportation. I have to get up earlier, like at 6 a.m., to grab the seven o'clock calafia to take me to my work place so I enter before 8. I get out at 6 p.m. and by this point there is no bus or calafia that will take me back home in one single ride, no, OH NO, have to walk 4 block, these are very lengthy blocks you know, just to get to the bus stop that will take me down to 5 y 10 so that I can cross a pedestrian bridge that sits on top of one of the more congested streets in tijuana, when I get to the calafia that will bring me home it's approx 7 p.m. and from there to my house I get here around eight, dead tired and we have to remember it's summer, so it's hot and sticky... even more discusting the human contact you can get in a calafia is the one you get in calafia in August and september wheather. On the other hand I have 5 fingers, oh and a lump formed suddenly in the back of my right hand (issue that I will discuss more thoroughly on another entry).

I've had an anxiety attack at work, not fun to have, I'm all crying and sweaty armpits, couldn't stay there.

Then, yesterday, I get out of my house a few minutes later than usual and loose the calafia that would take me to otay in just one ride, you see the normal route is to take a calafia to 5 y 10 and taxi to otay (expensive and time consuming), yes I took the normal route, sucked ass, after getting of in la clínica 27 and walk to the taxi stand there is a line waiting by looking at the line I know I would be in the 3rd taxi that passed by, oh! but wait! THERE WHERE NO TAXIS!!, and it was because of the traffic created by the lousy city planning... so I got on a taxi finally by around 10 min to 8 a.m., so doing the time math I knew I wouldn't get to job destination on time. When I reached the gate the guards says that because of the time I arrived I need a permit to enter, the protocol is to have you wait out side, not being able to check your entry until your supervisor comes to get you. I got there at 8:20, the guard said that my supervisor line was busy, waited like 15 min. and decided to go for breakfast. I'm late, my sup won't come get me on time, what the hell? Come back from getting 2 tacos de birria con todo y sin caldito, and still no show... after half an hour my sup comes get me, all bossy like "why are you late?.."
Me superpissed "traffic"
"What time do you come in?"
Me even more pissed "At 8, but I got here at 8:20. I've waited for half an hour"

To that he said nothing, and he checked the box for UNJUSTIFIED, the bastard.

And in my office the girl that has the same tittle that I do (but we do different things for the same department) lets call her Janice, she had gotten the job 5 weeks before I did, and thought that by me being hired she was going to be replaced and left with out work, so she was hostile the first weeks, then she got sort off friendly but with backstabbing feeling, and the good thing is that she doesn't speak very much to me now, that's good... But any how I don't like her, don't trust her, don't believe her and don't want anything to do with her I got reminded of the song Waitress by Tori Amos, it comforts me, I understand completely the feeling and meaning of the song, hell I'm living it ;P. I present you the video live from Sessions that is also on the To Venus and Back, it's on the disc Venus Live Still Orbiting, as well as the lyrics for this one.




so i want to kill this waitress
she's worked her a year longer than i
if i did it fast you know that's an act of kindness

but i believe in peace
i believe in peace, bitch
i believe in peace

i want to kill this waitress
i can't believe this violence in mind
and is her power all in her club sandwich

but i believe in peace
i believe in peace, bitch
i believe in peace

i want to kill this killing wish
they're too many stars and not enough sky
boys all think she's living kindness
ask a fellow waitress
ask a fellow waitress

© Sword & Stone

IMPROVS

(bridge --)
hang ten, hang ten honey
i'm gonna go where she goes
hang ten, hang ten honey
i'm gonna - give me give me one of those
hang ten, hang ten honey
i'm gonna go where she goes
hang ten, hang ten honey
i'm gonna, give me give me
hang ten, hang ten honey
i'm gonna go where she goes
hang ten, cuz i know just where she is
because i believe in peace yes
i believe in peace, i said
but believe that she's a devil bitch
i believe in her something
i believe in her something
i believe in that girl
i believe in her goodness
i believe in her darkness
but i believe that she's a devil bitch
wai-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-tress
wai-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-tress-he-he-he-he-he

MUSICIANS
written by Tori Amos
piano & vocals by Tori Amos
bass by George Porter Jr.
drums by Carlo Nuccio
programming by Eric Rosse and Paul McKenna

REMIXES
n/a

FEATURED ON
Under The Pink
To Venus And Back: Still Orbiting
UK Past The Mission (Part 2) single

COMMENTS

"The Waitress is how I can't control my violence, and in this one situation, we're both equals, we're both waitresses in this song. I don't go into the details of why. Why isn't the issue. The issue is that I thought I was a peacemaker, and this violence has totally taken control of every belief system that I have. It's a very scary thing, especially after you talk about anti-violence."
-- Tori; The Baltimore Sun, '94

"So I almost got 3-5 for this one, but the bitch wouldn't live it."
-- Tori; Wolverhampton, England 05/02/94, I Love Toffee Apples bootleg

"Condiments are my favorite thing sometimes when I was lonely I'd line up all the condiments and pound them on the table and let them applaud me adding confidence to my dishes before they got cooked."
-- Tori; Under The Pink Songbook

The UK Past The Mission (Part 2) single contains a live version of The Waitress, recorded in Boston, MA on March 31, 1994. A different live version graces the To Venus And Back: Still Orbiting album, recorded during the Plugged '98 Tour.

Copyright © 1996 HEREINMYHEAD.COM

I like this one

Now is the turn of The Shins

I love The Shin's music, here are some of my favorites, the first one is Red Rabbits, when I selected that song mainly was for the title but when I heard it and read the lyrics I could not stop listening, drove my boyfriend crazy (not in the good way, he doesn't like most of the music I am really into) I feel really sad today, been sentimental at work and now I am silently depressed at home, this song is a picker upper, hope it works. If not this one the next...

Red Rabbits

Hurled to the center of the Earth again
The place where it's ho love
You know it hurts to breathe in
And the watershed you balance on is begging it
Well did he ever know
Will he ever know?

The trees in the moonshine are a dark lattice
So you catalog any angle you notice
In a vacuum you are charged to record this
So you won't make it easy on me

I can't go into this no more
It puts too many thorns on my mind
And the necessary balloon lies a corpse on the floor
We've pissed on far too many sprites
And they're all standing up for their rights

Born on a desert floor you've the deepest thirst
And you came to my sweet shore to indulge it
With the wan and dreaming eyes of an orphan
But there was not enough
There is not enough

Out of a gunnysack fall red rabbits
Into the crucible to be rendered an emulsion
And we can't allow a chance they'd restore themselves
So we can't make it easy on you

Undaunted, you bathed in hollow cries
The boys with swollen sunburnt eyes
A reward for letting nothing under their skin
So help me, I don't know I might
Just give the old dark side a try

Don't cast your whirling eyes on the shore
Till we even the score
I still owe you for the hole in the floor
And the ghost in the hall
Who decides who paddles over the falls
Yeah who makes the call
Who makes the call?

I know there's an eventual
Release from every scale of crime
But the necessary balloon lies a corpse on the floor
We've pissed on far too many good intentions
Held by clever sprites
And they're all standing up for their rights.



Sleeping Lessons

Go without
'Til the need seeps in
You're low, anymore
Collect your novel petals for the stem

And glow
Glow
Melt and flow
Eviscerate your fragile frame
And spill it out on the ragged floor
A thousand different versions of yourself

And if the old guard still offend
They got nothing left on which you depend
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood
And off with their heads
Jump from The hook
You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise
See, those unrepenting buzzards want your life

And they got no right
As sure as you have eyes
They got no right

Just put yourself in my new hooves
And see that I do what I do
Because the old guard still offend (their pudgy hearts and slimy hands)
They've got nothing left on which we depend
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood
And off with their heads
Jump from The hook
You're not obliged
To swallow anything you despise
That you despise

This is for my personal enjoyment

Not too many words... Blonde Redhead:

Futurism vs. Passeism part 2

Le temps le plus important c'est la première fois
Le temps le plus important c'est la deuxième fois
Et après ça le troisième fois
Et on recommence

J'ai perdu les habitudes de ma jeunesse
Et je me senq désunis et à part de ma propre histoire
Et on recommence

Futurism Vs. Passeism Part 2 - Blonde Redhead

Fun for ME

Hello, this is from Moloko, and I know is one of her most known songs, I love it, it's funny, energetic, sensual, sexy, and I like her, wink.

I dreamt that I was dreaming, I was wired to a clock,
Tickled by the minute hand tick tock tick tock,
I dream Im on a train and it is making music,
I dont remember getting on clickity click clickity click,
I dreamt that I was very tall, I was bigger than king kong,
I heard the bells the bells aringing ading dong ding dong,
I dreamt that I was sitting in the devils company,
He gave a solemn promise fe fi fi fun for me,
I dreamt that I was chasing the monster out of me,
I caught him in the corner ha ha hee hee hee,
I dream Im in a tunnel between here and now,
Scooby do-be where would you be bow wow wow wow,
I dream Im at a crossroads no place left to go,
I look in each direction eenie meanie miny mo,
I dream I am an ostrich head deep in the sand,
There is a rhythm thats a playing fantastic elastic band,
I dreamt that the bogeyman went down on mr spock
Sugar was a flowing sock it to em sock
I dreamt I saw a moo cow jump across the moon
Just a flight of fantasy zoom zoom zoom
I dreamt I met a spaceman he took me to his ship,
You know he cut my hair off snip snip snip
I dreamt that I was sleeping asleep for heavens sake
The dream that I was dreaming caused me to awake
I dreamt that I was way up I was standing on the top
With the feeling I was falling bop beep bop
I dreamt that I was jumping in a circus through a hoop,
Someone saw the lights off shoo-be-doop
I dreamt that I was fast I was never shutting up,
I was going in a hurry I was giddy-up giddy-up
I dream Im in the park Im standing in the nudey,
I was getting what I wanted tootie fruity tootie fruity,
I dreamt that I was dreaming, I was wired to a clock,
Tickled by the minute hand tick tock tick tock,
I dream Im on a train and it is making music,
I dont remember getting on clickity click clickity click,
I dreamt that I was very tall, I was bigger than king kong,
I heard the bells the bells aringing ading dong ding dong,
I dream I am an astrich head deep in the sand,
There is a rhythm thats a playing fantastic elastic band,
Fe fi fi fun for me.

Now, I found out there are 3 videos for this song, so I'll put all of them the original first released in 1995 for England viewers, and the others.



Now for the other one, the nurse video:



Ok, now some disappointment, I was not able to find the first video I saw for this song, so I am bummed out, and I pretty much have to leave soon... so I will only leave this two, but I hope you remember another one with lots of colours, she is dancing, and well pointless until I find it! But I did like the nurse video. Wink.

This one goes for Sarah...

Since we both like so much Bat for Lashes, but you obviously have a tremendous crush on her, and her music, I decided to share one of my favorites with you, Trophy. Here, I love you lots girl.

"Trophy"

The trophy that I made for us
In fur and gold
Got into the wrong pair of hands
In truth was sold
The ?? was so much less
Than it was worth
And every man that touched it
Found a heaven on earth
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms

The queens and the court jesters
Clapped, adored
Their hearts swelled too
Overdrive a mercy sword
Mercy this and mercy that
Let justice prevail
But I just want my trophy back
It's not for sale
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms

Creatures of love feed
Shoot shoot
Shoot them down
And set me free

Creatures of love feed
Shoot shoot
Shoot them down
And set me free

When I got my trophy back
It took some time
To polish it, to go from black
And shoot the line
When I put it back inside
And locked the door
A trophy of mercy
Is a trophy no more
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms
Heaven is a feeling I get in your arms

Creatures of love feed
Shoot shoot
Shoot them down
And set me free

Creatures of love feed
Shoot shoot
Shoot them down
And set me free



And hell with it, I will also put "Horse and I", just love those two songs, so free, so oniric, and as well dramatic, so here is the second one.

Horse and I

Got woken in the night,
by a mystic golden light.
My head soaked in river water.
I had been dressed in a coat of armor. They called a horse out of the woodland.
"Take her there, through the desert shores."
They sang to me, "This is yours to wear. You're the chosen one, there's no turning back now."

The smell of redwood giants.
The banquet for the shadows.
Horse and I, we're dancers in the dark.
Came upon the headdress.
It was gilded, dark and golden.
The children sang.
I was so afraid I took it to my head and prayed.
They sang to me, "This is yours to wear. You're the chosen one, there's no turning back."
They sang to me, "This is yours to wear. You're the chosen one, there's no turning back."

There is no turning back.
There is no turn.
There is no turning back.
There is no turn.
There is no turning back.
There is no turn...



***Bonus***

I saw a light

I saw a light
I saw a light
Coming through the trees
I saw a light
Coming through the trees
Freshly cut lawns
And little children sleepwalking
I saw a light

I saw a light
Shining on a car
And a couple inside
Had committed suicide

Death in your arms
Death in your arms

I saw a light
I saw a light
Coming through the trees
And I packed my things

After I saw the light
I packed my things
The light gave me life
Helped me see more clearly
And the children went to sleep
And the car was towed away
And the leaves were rustling
As the night turned to day

I saw a light
Getting smaller in the distance
And I said goodbye

Good Music That's Often Missed

This is, in my humble opinion, the best song and video that Esthero has, "Heaven Sent", I loved it since the first time I watch the video in 1998 on summer vacations, I was 17 back then. The music is strong, defying, dramatic, her voice is stunning, and adored the fact that the video takes a homage to the short film "Un chien andalou" from director Luis Buñuel, it's a silent surrealist video (also mentioned on one of the Pixies songs "Debaser") where Salvador Dalí participates, please, and I mean please, if you have not seen this watch it, it's fucking awesome.

So, here are the lyrics and the video (wich was hard to find embedded on youtube, but thankfully I found it on veoh).

"Heaven Sent"

I came and saw you left the light on
There was no one home at all
Couldnt wait to get your clothes on
Shouldnt come around to call on you

The taste was sweet and you delivered
I didnt know I would feel so high
Well, I guess we didnt have to kill her
But dont feel so bad though

You looked her in the eye
And I watched her cry
And my mouth went dry
Everyone is going to have to die - sometime

My mouth is clean, my hands are dirty
Heaven isnt on my side
Well, if it was, then shed have hurt me
Didnt think this through

But, I didnt have the time
To perfect my crime
I drank my wine
Everything is going to be just fine

I dont know, I dont love, (youre alone, youre alone) I dont know
Anyone like me

Im not heaven sent
Im not heaven sent
But Im broken and bent

My mouth went dry
As I watched her cry
Everyone has to, gets to die
But not on my time - not on this girls time
Fucked if its my time (fucked if its my time)
Not on my time(this is all fucked up)

Esthero |MTV Music

Pizzicato

This song I actually heard the cover that Emiliana Torrini made, a friend of mine sent me the song because since I am into japanese things she thought I'd like it, and she was right so I searched around and found that it was from Pizzicato Five, and I really like them, so I thought I will put the original song on my blog so she knows the original track, hope she likes it, Emiliana Torrini's song is actually pretty similar and really good as well.

I
Watashi no koto
Anata wa mada
Gokai shite iru
Ka mo shirenai wa ne

Watashi no koto
Anata wa ima
Iya na onna datte
Omotteru n deshoo

Soo yo watashi wa
Detarame de
Kimagure de
Namaiki de
Wagamama de
Zeitaku de
Kidoriya de
Usotsuki de
Ayafuya de
Iikagen

Da kedo watashi wa
Yurusarechau
Sore wa watashi ga
Kawaii kara

Da kedo watashi wa
Aisareteru
Sore wa watashi ga
Kawaii kara


-----------------------
I guess
You still
Don't understand
Me

Even now
Do you think
I am
A terrible girl?

That's right! I am
Irresponsible,
Capricious,
Cheeky,
Selfish,
Extravagant,
Affected,
A liar,
Uncertain,
And irresponsible

But i
Get away with it
Because
I am cute

But I am
Loved
Because
I am cute




Another version of the song, I preffer this version over the one before, it's more jazzy and upbeat:

For all the lost days...

I plan to catch up, so on this my few spare hours I plan to put as many songs with their videos, this particular post is of the incredible song The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegroove by Dead Can Dance. Boy I just love, LOVE this song since the first time I heard it when I was driving home on my forest-green Hyundai Accent '96, fuck, I almost stopped at mid street with cars passing by me.

"The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegroove"

I thought that you knew it all
Well youve seen it ten times before.
I thought that you had it down
With both your feet on the ground.
I love slow...slow but deep.
Feigned affections wash over me.
Dream on my dear
And renounce temporal obligations.
Dream on my dear
Its a sleep from which you may not awaken.

You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now Im serving time in disillusionment.

I dont believe you anymore...i dont believe you.

I thought that I knew it all
Id seen all the signs before.
I thought that you were the one
In darkness my heart was won.

You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now Im serving time in a domestic graveyard.

I dont believe you anymore...i dont believe you.

Never let it be said I was untrue
I never found a home inside of you.
Never let it be said I was untrue
I gave you all my time.

The Girl T.

This song is probably on of my favorites from Tori Amos, I find it's one of her funniest work, the music sounds like a funky ice cream flavor that has nuts and crackers. It's from the album Under the Pink. Enjoy. And yes, I am in a retroish mood.

"Space dog"

way to go mr. microphone
show us all what you don't know
centuries secret societies
he's out commander still
space dog

so sure we were on something
your feet are finally on the ground he said
so sure we were on something
your feet are just on the ground girl

rain and snow
our engines have been receiving your eager call
there's colonel dirtyfishydishcloth
he'll distract her good
don't worry so

and to the one you thought was on your side
she can't understand
she truly believes the lies

lemon pie
he's coming through
our commander still space dog
lines secure space dog

deck the halls
i'm young again
i'm you again
racing turtles
the grapefruit is winning
seems i keep getting this story twisted
so where's neil when you need him
deck the halls
it's you again
it's you again
somewhere someone must know the ending
is she still pissing in the river now
heard she'd gone
moved into a trailer park

so sure we were on something
your feet finally on the ground he said
so sure we were on something
you feet just on the ground girl
so sure we were on something
your feet finally on the ground he said
so sure we were on something
your feet are just on the ground
(so sure those girls now are in the navy
those bombs our friends can't even hurt you now
and hold those tears cause they're still on your side
don't hear the dogs barking
don't say you know we've gone andromeda
stood with those girls before
the hair in pairs it just got nasty
and now those girls are gone)

July will be the month of MUSIC

Well, I've decided to make the month of July "The Month of Music" where I will put the lyrics for the songs that have touched me and mark a point in my life, since the first to post where about that, I have to continue, don't know if the following months will have themes. Ok well, enjoy.

This is going to be Modest Mouse, with the song One Chance, and I picked this one because I right now feel like that, I've got a new job, and I really like it, I find it challenging, and almost as if I am being reborn -personality wise- because of this experience, begining to see a new light to the everyday things, kind off reasured the fact that I can't be goofing around forever. I can't and refuse to be a teenager forever.

A nice transition to the start of adulthood is where I find myself, as creepy as it may sound, I want to be a grown up, I feel like I can handle myself better, before I felt like a girl that needed protecting, so to protect her locked her inside of melting fears, insecurities. Prone to a fragileness as if I didn't trust me to do hard tasks, and everything is a hard task, I placed the responsability for my decisions on what my mother thought, or my friends, my lovers but to afraid to decide for myself, now I don't feel like that, it's slowly wearing off, and I'm happy with me.

So after the long drag, the song:



"One Chance"

We have one chance.
One chance to get everything right.
We have one chance, one chance.
And if we're lucky we might.

My friends, my habits, my family,
they mean so much to me.
I just don't think that it's right.
I've seen so many ships sail in,
just to head back out again and go off sinking.

I'm just a box in a cage. I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.

Didn't mean to laugh, didn't know I had.
Didn't know the better part of what you said
cuz in your head you are not home.

Didn't get the joke. Didn't mean to poke another,
just to save myself
from some something something or another one.
Well walk home.

I'm just a box in a cage. I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.

I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.

We have one chance,
one chance to get everything right.
My friends, my habits, my family,
they mean so much to me.
I just don't think that it's right.
I've seen so many ships sail in,
just to head back out again and go off sinking.

For a friend...

I know maybe you don't like My Brightest Diamond that much, but I have attatched a memory of you in this ending love affair that your going trough... so you understand better I leave the lyrics... and the live version of the song, sorry can't help but see the simmilarities... although he did write to say goodbay, at least.

Gone Away

Far away you've gone, and left me here
So cold without you, so lonely dear
May June July I count the time
Every minute I go takes the smell of your clothes
Further away

'Cause you've gone away
Where there isn't a telephone wire
Still I wait by the phone
You don't even write to say goodbye
Goodbye

I have saved every piece of paper
Like grocery lists and note cards
To do lists and race scores
So just in case you change your mind
And come back, I've kept everything safe

While you're gone away
Where there isn't a telephone wire
Still I wait by the phone
You don't even write to say goodbye

Get me out get me off
Get me out get me off
Oh this is a ride going nowhere
But somewhere that I despise
Going nowhere to end up with a tearful
I don't wanna go on with these pieces of paper
That you left behind

This is a ride going nowhere
But somewhere that I despise
Going nowhere to end up with a tearful
I don't wanna go on with these pieces of paper
To keep me company in my old age

While you're gone away
Where there isn't a telephone wire
Still I wait by the phone
Why don't you write to say goodbye
Goodbye

Nostalgic... for the creepy music.

Orlando

Yes, I know two in a day, but I don't know why I remembered Tilda Swinton. The first time I saw her was with the movie Orlando (1992) and adored it, the movie is based from the Virginia Woolf book Orlando and it was directed by Sally Potter.

It's about the search of finding one true self. So today I remembered that I loved the soundtrack, so I search till I found what I wanted, I will leave here some photos of that gorgeous woman and the song Coming performed by Jimmy Somerville from the movie, hope you enjoy and if you haven't seen it, give it a try.

black paw, pink paw

Well as of June 27th I have another cat, Isis, she is has a tiger-like patter on her whole boddy, black paws and lips, she look a little like Gaia (my first cat who arrived not more that 2 months ago) but Gaia has a white parts of her body and pink paws.

The story behind it is that we where selling our stuff in the flea market that's just across the street from where I live. Chainís, Elle, Lynx and me where playing cards on the street by our stuff, right beside us is parked the cabin of a semi; like around 10 am we heard a kitty that sounded like it was trapped and needed help, Lynx searched but didn't find any kitten. Chainís that had gone to the store to get a coke said the kitten was under the defense of the semitruck and she was able to get out of there by herself, then she aproached us, we all liked how she looked, then the idea of keeping her crept and Lynx took her to the house to bathed her, and that's how we adopted Isis.

Now, I thought Gaia and Isis would just get along because they are both small, I was wrong. Ever since yesterday when Gaia aproaches Isis or vice versa the hissing and the growls begin, but they don't do anything to each other, if Isis is in a room Gaia wants nothing to do with that, Isis could care less it seems.

Right now we put separate food dishes but they still preffer the main one, although now that I am looking to the extra dish I notice it's empty, have no clue to wich one eat it all, but hey at least I know I'm not waisting food, right?

I want to put a bigger kitty litter box, but I have to wait until I get paid so I can go and buy one, the ones with like a roof, yeah those, so they won't disturb one another while pooping.

My friends say that Isis is better looking than Gaia, I don't agree with them, Gaia is a really pretty cat and so is Isis, they kinda look alike, except for the traits I mention earlier, oh, I forgot to say that Gaia's size is almost double of Isis, I just hope this crazyness will end and they will be able to play together.

Well, in another post, when the rechargeable batteries are charged and I find the cable to trasfer the photos to the computer I will upload some pictures of them.

Angry?

Am I angry right now? Yes a little, it's an uncomfortable feeling, don't like it. How did I get angry? Frankly I think it's because I lack common sense, but I don't think all of it is my fault, there where two in the argument.

Don't know what is my fucking problem? I miss initiative. I know all my defects and my bad deed, all the things I hate about me, I know them all but still, can't seem to change the way my thought process works.

I... well, don't want this emotion any longer but know not how to cast it out, cast it away from me, have no clue what will be the outcome if I speak my mind again, will I get even madder? Will everything be solved? And fuck, I already know the bloody answer, if I don't talk I will still feel uncomfortable, so I'll go ahead and open my mouth any way... The consequences are the product of one's actions, and not saying anything will also have it's consequences, so...

I feel like I'm always going on circles inside my head, redundant, I'm sad to admit that I am a very square person, now don't take me wrong I feel like I am very open minded in a lot of topics, laid back, but when I get an idea of how things should be like, then, that's how things should be, when they are not my mind doesn't flex, in fact, when I think something I get so fixated on an idea that my memory bends thing so I remember that instead of the fact, the "real one" and not the idealized version.

Well I feel calmer now, I also know the reply I will get, I think it will be silence and a snarky remark, making me feel bad. Don't know why but I will feel everybody is out to get me, to point out my wrong doings, to judge me even; and when they do I don't take it nicely. I feel like "hey I don't point out your faults, don't come pissing on my parade". I hide me under flaky excuses, the worst part of it is that I become a flaky person, because I am never me, then who am I. Who the fuck am I? If I quiet everything inside me, but when I let it out I don't feel like a good person. The moral kicks in, and I hate apologizing for things I did feel but have to say I'm sorry so that I don't hurt the other party involved, because I care for them and I want for them to like me, love me or even respect me, maybe not bending over so much will help for that, but first I have to control me, see there I go again, hiding. Well enough for now, I've ranted what seems to me for hours.

Highly Recommended!

When I think I have something good to write in my blog, there is a voice in my head that says: write it down somewhere, and I never do because I think that I will remember. Well I don't.

This past few day I've done practically nothing but watch movies, so here are ones I liked a lot!!!

Disclaimer: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!

Pineapple Express (2008)


Very funny movie about weed and all the stuff that tends to happen when you consume in very large quantities..

If you think the relationship between dealer and customer has to be "to the point", because everyone knows that unwritten rule, that is why Dale is skeptic about his friendship with his dealer, so next time you are with yours think twice before leaving so promptly.

It's a ride through the haze of being a murder witness while heavily stoned and all the trials and tribulations that comes with it.

Highly recommendable to watch.... while stoned.

Blood, The Last Vampire (Live Action Movie) May of 2009.

If you enjoy good anime, you have to know Saya from the anime movie of the same name above.

Well the live action movie I was surprised to see that the movie didn't suck. It was true to the character of Saya, the camera work was good in some fighting scenes (kind off Le pacte des loups). Some of the american actors didn't act (wich I expected to tell the truth).




Over all, the story is very similar to the anime one except for the last third of the movie, and that part of the story kept me interested still. So I would highly recommend watching this one.

Here to the left we have Saya the anime version and Saya the L.A.M, it was funny to see them together.

And if you haven't watch any of them, please watch anime first, then the L.A.M., compare and enjoy.

And last but not least....

Dead Leaves (デッド リーブス, Deddo Rībusu) a 2004 anime movie.
On this one all I can tell you is WATCH IT!!!

It´s a dynamic anime, with lots of colors, lots of violence and blood, absolutelly creative angles and a really comic repertoir of mischevious characters that wreak havoc ina prison on the moon named DEAD LEAVES.

I just found an incredible artist

Camilla D'Errico

This was some of her artwork, wich I think it has great composition, sophisticated and sexual images, well hope you enjoyed the few images I posted, I will post more soon, but for right now is ok. Oh you migh see some of her artwork on the comic book Nightmares and Fairytales, before her the artist that drew the comic was Foo Swee Chin (FSc), I will post about her later as well because her imagination is wild and chaotic and bloody, well enough for today.

Nuevas cosas!!!

He estado escuchando últimamente a My Brightest Diamond, los discos de A thousand shark teeth y el que más me gusto fue el de Bring me the workhorse. La voz de Shara es singular, teatral, dramática y jugetona. La música es un festín que despliega visualizaciones mentales variadas y aquí les pongo unas fotos de algunos de sus discos y el video de Dragonfly.

spiralmantra wm & stilettos

Where does it take us?

I have had a pretty rough year this 2009, but it has had "the Good Times" you know the memorable stuff where growth as a human being occurs and shit. This is June the half of the year, it feels longer, much, much longer but some how I've managed to maintain contact with reality, and the reality that I am getting older and I have done nothing, I have just collected interesting facts along the way but never produced anything great. And who the fuck says I have to do anything with my life; that's the thing I want to do something for me first, something I can be content with, so far I guess I haven't found it, or haven't searched enough. Call it selfishess but I need to take care of me first or otherwise I would not exist, I would be alive but mearly as a puppet that does everything she is told, taught and no real, proper experience. I need that selfishness, I need that greed, that lust and that anger to breath almost.

We all need a plan, or something to look forward to, and a strategy to get us from one room to the next until we obtain a nice enough view. I hope the trip goes well.

I know I am too vague when I write but I feel as if I can't be more explicit with the details, the juicy bit are not mine to share. I tell you this paranoia is a trickster.

The funnest hour

I am in the room of a friend, with his two little brothers, Carlos and my self, this is fun, I'm watching them play Resident Evil 5 for PS3. It's almost 2 am, don't have any intent of sleeping soon. It's really entertaining watching them. Besides I am the control tower who gives them the location of items and shit. Still pretty much unemployed, searching yes, the pig flu suspended class in the school so I was not able to go there and sell the 15 onigiris we had made the previous night (we work the "night shift" starts at around 10 pm so we finish aprox 2 or 3 am and we go sell them on the same day around 10 to 11 am). So you can now imagine that this is no strange thing that I am awake and having fun at this hour, but there are other nights that I want to call it quits at, 7 or 8 pm.

I am getting a tad bit sleepy now...

A few days ago we got our electricity cut because of over payments (sarcasm), so we have had no computers, no music, no light, no tv, no fridge (besides it's not like there is any food in there but well, no fridge), etc. all the comodities that modern technology brings to a home... Well having no job and no money to pay the bill, we have to manage until something comes around, I hope that something does come around! So I was not going to stay at home with no food and no electricity, Carlos had to go to an interview and i forgot to ask him for a bit of money, didn't have any change to even make a phone call to my mother to come pick me up. So, I decided to walk to my mother's house all by my self, by car you can make it there in 15 min., but I took 2 hours to get there, when i reached her house, the car was there, I rang the doorbell several times and even shouted, nothing happened. Thought that my mom and brother had gone out for a bit without using the car, sat down, took out my Lovecraft book and started reading, half an hour passed and my mother comes out the front door totally amazed that i was outside and didn't ring the bell... well I laughed a lot, it was really good walking, cleared my mind, made me feel strong.

Lots of change happening inside my way of thinking and doing, the outcome, problable growth.

Later, have to sleep a tiny bit...

Onigiris

Una mañana me levante con ganas de comer Onigiris, aquí donde vivo no hay forma de conceguirlos ya hechos y la verdad es que no sabia bien como pero tenía mucho antojo. Busque recetas para hacer el arroz e hice mis primeros onigiris, de los cuales me enamore.

Se acercaba una kermes en la escuela donde había la oportunidad de venderlos, cabe mensionar que estoy desempleada, así que fuimos a vender onigiris, fue bien aceptada por los conocedores, aunque los primeros onigiris no fueron de la calidad con que ahora los hago estaban ricos.

Carlos y yo decidimos emprender un viaje dentro del mundo mini-micro empresarial y ahora tenemos "Little Tokyo" japanese fast food, luego escribo más por que mi tiempo aquí es limitado.